As the annual renewal emails come through for this blog, I’m reminded that it exists. I always tell myself I’ll do a “proper reflection,” and instead I end up thinking about random moments. The small decisions. The big decisions. The things I didn’t say yes to.
There was a lot of work this year, and I was grateful for it. Normally, that kind of workload would mean a lot of noise and aggravation. But somehow, it felt quieter. Busy, sure, but without the chaos. And I didn’t hate it.
I focused on the work, but I also managed to focus on myself, which is not something I used to prioritize without guilt. I worked with more intention and less urgency, despite the deadlines. I had fewer tabs open. Offered fewer explanations. Trusted my own judgment. I noticed I wasn’t trying as hard to prove anything. I didn’t need every project to be groundbreaking or every day to be productive. Some days were just solid, and that was enough.
2024 me would’ve tried to optimize that. 2025 me took the win.
I got better at pausing. I spent a lot of time asking myself questions like: Does this really need more effort? More time? More of me? Sometimes the answer was yes. Sometimes it was a very hard-earned no.
Life wisdom doesn’t show up all at once. It shows up after repetition. After you’ve busted your ass enough times to realize all that busting rarely helps. After you’ve overcommitted enough times to recognize the feeling before it fully hits you in the face. This year felt like the payoff of all that repetition.
Focusing on myself didn’t mean pulling back. It meant being more present. Less reactive. More grounded. When I slowed down, nothing fell apart. If anything, things clicked into place more easily—which is kind of aggravating, considering how long it took me to learn that.
I’m not ending 2025 with a big takeaway or a neatly packaged lesson. Just a sense that I’m more aligned than I was before. Calmer. Clearer. And a little quicker to trust myself..
pad thai & pizza 